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Told Arthur, our real estate agent, that we'd bought a bed today and he cautioned against too much spendng before closing. It was just a mattress and box springs, so he was relieved, said that he knew a guy once who bought a truck and was mystified when his loan didn't go through. We wouldn't have bought a truck.
We did nearly purchase a $1000 leather sofa and $300 chair.
*runs screaming*
I'd hate to lose the thing because we went crazy and, I dunno, bought the things we need for it!
Did you know they make read toasters? As well as red chairs, red pillows, sheets, trash cans... OK, damnit! I like red! We bought nothing red today. I want red!
Went and got the key to the condo so we could measure stuff (hubby was squawking about that as I arranged it @@). We discovered that without the haze of OMGlovethisplacegottabuyit in our eyes, we could see the things that needed fixed beyond baseboards and paint. Still, when all is said and done and the work is finished, this new home will be all ours, with our choices in it and not what we got by default from buying the place. Shook hands with the door man who seemed pleased someone younger than retirement age was moving in, then drove around again, just soaking in the neighborhood.
I can't remember when I've been so excited and hopeful and savagely holding back that fear that always keeps me from doing new things. That's no way to live, it's a half life. There's no joy in it and when I let the fear control me, that's when the bitch in me comes out and I'm hell to be around.
A friend recently said she couldn't see the joy in life anymore. For a long time that has been me. I'd see something beautiful and go "meh". Several key events in my life forced a "fight or flight" change in attitude. I decided to fight for what I wanted. Keep the life I have here and improve on it. But the thing that had to change was my physical surroundings.
So, we'll move to the better neighborhood. Take a leap of faith, deplete our savings and start a new chapter. I'm not walking away from this neighborhood with no regrets, I have lived here 18 years, after all. So much of my married life has taken place here. But here is also where my joy seemed to wither. It's not the house's fault. But the house serves as a reminder of years that seemed to build and blur. That's existing. I honestly think that if I let myself stay here, I'll lose myself again and become that person no one wants to be around. And I want people around me as well.
So, yeah, I bought a bed today and it was exciting. And the spouse and I laughed and planned and had fun. Wore ourselves out, but the point is, we had fun. So it was a good day.
We did nearly purchase a $1000 leather sofa and $300 chair.
*runs screaming*
I'd hate to lose the thing because we went crazy and, I dunno, bought the things we need for it!
Did you know they make read toasters? As well as red chairs, red pillows, sheets, trash cans... OK, damnit! I like red! We bought nothing red today. I want red!
Went and got the key to the condo so we could measure stuff (hubby was squawking about that as I arranged it @@). We discovered that without the haze of OMGlovethisplacegottabuyit in our eyes, we could see the things that needed fixed beyond baseboards and paint. Still, when all is said and done and the work is finished, this new home will be all ours, with our choices in it and not what we got by default from buying the place. Shook hands with the door man who seemed pleased someone younger than retirement age was moving in, then drove around again, just soaking in the neighborhood.
I can't remember when I've been so excited and hopeful and savagely holding back that fear that always keeps me from doing new things. That's no way to live, it's a half life. There's no joy in it and when I let the fear control me, that's when the bitch in me comes out and I'm hell to be around.
A friend recently said she couldn't see the joy in life anymore. For a long time that has been me. I'd see something beautiful and go "meh". Several key events in my life forced a "fight or flight" change in attitude. I decided to fight for what I wanted. Keep the life I have here and improve on it. But the thing that had to change was my physical surroundings.
So, we'll move to the better neighborhood. Take a leap of faith, deplete our savings and start a new chapter. I'm not walking away from this neighborhood with no regrets, I have lived here 18 years, after all. So much of my married life has taken place here. But here is also where my joy seemed to wither. It's not the house's fault. But the house serves as a reminder of years that seemed to build and blur. That's existing. I honestly think that if I let myself stay here, I'll lose myself again and become that person no one wants to be around. And I want people around me as well.
So, yeah, I bought a bed today and it was exciting. And the spouse and I laughed and planned and had fun. Wore ourselves out, but the point is, we had fun. So it was a good day.
